


What Your Father Said

by AchillesMonkey



Series: Child Fitz Fics [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Ableism, Ableist Language, Blame the show, Britpicked to the best of my ability, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Kid Fic, Leo Fitz Feels, Mother-Son Relationship, Swearing, Verbal Abuse, internalized ableism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-23 00:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9631112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AchillesMonkey/pseuds/AchillesMonkey
Summary: "Isn't that what your father used to say to you? Not enough? Not smart enough?"Leopold Fitz was ten-years-old and not a very clever boy at all. He knew this because his father told him so, all the time.WARNINGS/TRIGGERS: Verbal Abuse, Ableism, Ableist Language (including the R-word), Swearing, Mild Self-Injury (hitting self in the head)





	

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS/TRIGGERS: Verbal Abuse, Ableism, Ableist Language (including the R-word), Swearing, Mild Self-Injury (hitting self in the head)

Leopold Fitz was ten-years-old and not a very clever boy at all. He knew this because his father told him so, all the time. “Stupid boy,” his father would mutter every time Leopold brought home another failing mark from school, every time he couldn’t stop himself from talking about monkeys, every time he accidentally broke an appliance while trying to figure out how it worked.

Mum didn’t think he was stupid, but Leopold knew that he must be. He was different from the other kids. The other kids knew how to talk about things other than monkeys. The other kids knew how to make friends. The other kids didn’t flap their hands or bite their fingers or bounce on the balls of their feet. The other kids weren’t bothered by the too bright fluorescent lights, the too loud sound of the chalk writing on the board, the painful touch of another kid brushing past him. The other kids knew how to sit still and do their schoolwork. They even found the schoolwork challenging. Leopold didn’t understand that at all.

“Leo, time to wake up, love,” Mum’s voice and her hand on his shoulder pulled Leopold from a very nice dream involving Capuchins.

“Nooo,” he whined, burrowing deeper under his blankets.

“Yes, love, you need to get ready for school.”

“I don’t want to go to school.”

Mum sighed. “I’m going to make your breakfast, Leo. I expect to see you in the kitchen, dressed in your uniform, in five minutes. Understand?”

Leo mumbled something unintelligible and Mum left the room, turning on the overhead light as she did so. Leo winced at the sudden brightness and pulled the blankets over his head. He knew from prior experience that it only took him two minutes to get dressed, and fifteen seconds to walk from his bedroom to the kitchen, so he could stay in bed for two minutes and 45 seconds more. He also knew from prior experience that if he wasn’t in the kitchen when Mum said, she’d take his _Encyclopaedia of Interesting Monkey Facts_ away from him.

He reluctantly got out of bed, scowling as he dressed in the navy blue trousers and white shirt of his school uniform. He scowled as he tied his school tie and shrugged on the navy blue blazer. He scowled as he entered the kitchen and sat down at the table. He scowled at Mum as she put a plate with scrambled eggs and toast in front of him.

His father entered, dressed in a suit, briefcase in hand. “I’m off to work,” he told Mum. “Wipe that look off your face,” he told Leopold.

“I can’t,” Leo told him.

“Can’t what?” His father demanded.

“I can’t wipe that look off my face; I haven’t anything to wipe it off with!”

His father stared at him. “Fucking retard,” he said before heading out the door.

Leo looked at his Mum, confused. “He meant that he wanted you to stop scowling,” Mum explained. “You can’t actually wipe a look off of your face.”

Leo scowled again. “Then why didn’t he say that?”

Mum sighed. “Eat your breakfast, Leo.”

~*~*~*~

Leo sat in the chair outside of the Head’s office, chewing on his fingers as he waited. Mum and his father were inside, hearing all about how he’d got angry during his science lesson and ripped the pages out of the book. There was a mistake in the book and his teacher refused to believe him. Leo knew he was stupid and retarded, but he also knew he was right about the science book. He just wanted someone other than Mum to tell him he was smart for once.

The office door opened and his father came out, scowling at Leo. “Get your fingers out of your mouth!” he ordered. “You look like an idiot!” He started walking toward the exit, not waiting for Leo or Mum.

“Come on, darling,” Mum said. “We’ll talk at home.”

Leo held Mum’s hand as they walked home, making sure to use the hand that hadn’t been in his mouth. He knew he was getting too old to hold her hand, but he didn’t care at the moment.

“Is he really angry?” Leo asked.

“Yes, but it’s not your fault, love.”

Leo stopped walking and yanked his hand out of Mum’s. “DON’T LIE!” he shouted. “It IS my fault! He’s angry at me because I’m so STUPID!” His hands formed fists and he glanced around for something to lash out at, but the frustration grew too quickly before he found something, so he hit his head instead. “Stupid, _stupid_ , STUPID,” he yelled, continuing to hit himself.

“LEOPOLD FITZ! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!” Mum yelled and Leopold froze, fists almost to his head. Mum very rarely shouted at him. “Give me your hand and put your other hand in your pocket,” she ordered. “You are _not_ stupid, and you _do not_ hurt yourself. Now, we are going to go home and talk about this calmly without making more of a scene on the street.”

Leopold held Mum’s hand, but didn’t put his other in his pocket like she’d told him to. He flapped it instead, but Mum didn’t seem to mind. The house was dark and empty when they arrived. His father was nowhere to be found. Leo and Mum went into the living room and cuddled together on the couch.

“Why did you rip up the science book, Leo?” Mum asked.

“There was a mistake,” Leo explained. “I told Mrs. Connors, but she didn’t believe me. I got angry.”

“You know it’s not okay to destroy things even if you’re angry.”

“I know,” Leo said. “I’m sorry, Mummy.”

“It’s all right, love.” Mum kissed his forehead. “Go play, now, darling. I need to do some research.”

“What kind of research?”

“I’ll tell you once I’m finished.”

“Can I have a snack?”

“Sure.”

Leo made himself a bowl of popcorn and took it to his bedroom. He put the popcorn on the bedside table and got his _Encyclopaedia of Interesting Monkey Facts_ book from his bookshelf. He settled on the bed, put his monkey, Henry, on his lap, and opened the book. He’d long since memorized all the facts in the book, but he still enjoyed reading it. It was familiar, comforting. He knew exactly what it was going to say.

~*~*~*~

His father still hadn’t come home when it was time for Leo to go to bed. “Where is he?” he asked Mum.

“He probably had an emergency at work,” Mum said. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m sure he’ll be home when you wake up.” She kissed his forehead. “Good night, Leo. I love you.”

“Night, Mum. Love you too.”

It was nearly one in the morning when Leopold was woken by a loud crash and his father’s voice letting out a steady stream of curses.

“Where have you been?” Leo heard his mum’s voice demand.

“Pub,” his father replied.

“Well I can see that.” Mum sounded angry. “And what made you think it was okay to disappear down to the pub when you have a son at home who needs you?”

“He don’t need me,” his father retorted. “He don’t need anyone. Jus’ his fuckin’ monkeys.” Leo hugged Henry tighter and snuggled deeper into his blankets. “You don’t need me either,” his father continued. “You c’n raise the boy jus’ fine.”

“What are you talking about?” Mum asked.

“I’m leavin’,” his father announced. “I did a lot o’ thinkin’ at the pub, an’ I’m done. I came ter get ma things and then I’m gone.”

Leo felt tears come to his eyes. His father was leaving? Because of him? He heard heavy footsteps coming closer and squeezed his eyes shut, but they went past his door and down the hall to his parent’s bedroom.

“Leave?” He heard Mum say as she walked by his door. “You can’t just leave! We need you!”

Leo couldn’t hear his father’s reply. He bit Henry’s tail to muffle his sobs. A few minutes later he heard his father’s footsteps coming down the hall again and he held his breath as they stopped in front of his door. The door creaked open and Leo held still, pretending he was asleep. He heard nothing for quite some time and chanced opening an eye. His father was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, just staring at him. His father caught his eye and snorted. “Good riddance,” he said and pulled the door closed. Leo cried himself to sleep.

~*~*~*~

Mum didn’t wake him for school the next morning. When he woke up on his own, he wasn’t sure if what had happened was real or if it had been a bad dream. He took Henry and went out to find Mum. She was on the computer in the living room. “Is he really gone?” Leo asked.

Mum turned to face him and Leo could tell she’d been crying. “Yes, love. He is.”

Leo didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how he felt. Sad. Angry. Relieved? He chewed on Henry’s ear as he tried to process it all. “Do I have to go to school?” he asked eventually.

“No,” Mum answered. “You’re not going back to school.”

“I’m not?”

“No,” Mum said. “You’re too smart for school.”

“No, I’m not. I’m failing.”

“Yes, but that’s the school’s fault, not yours.”

“What am I going to do?”

“I’m going to homeschool you.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll stay home and you’ll learn from me, and from the internet, and we’ll get books from the library. We’ll find work that challenges you and you’ll show everyone just how brilliant you are.”

Leo thought about that. “And when I’m smart enough, he’ll come back?”

Mum looked like she was going to cry again. “I don’t know, Leo. Your father—he has his own issues he needs to work through.”

“Mum?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can I learn about monkeys when I’m homeschooled?”

Mum laughed. “Yes, Leopold, you can learn anything you want.”

Leopold nodded, satisfied. He’d learn about monkeys, and aeroplanes, and rockets, and all sort of interesting maths and science, and then one day, he’d know enough that his father would call him clever, and that day would be the best day ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the feels. Thanks for reading and thanks to those who leave kudos/comments! Feel free to check out my [Tumblr](http://unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot.tumblr.com)


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